No, We Are Not Quite Yet Back to “Normal.” 

It’s been a while since I’ve written an article and posted on my blog. In part because of life responsibilities, in part because of my own conation, and in part because of exciting work commitments. But, it has been too long and thus I will be back on a quarterly basis to share my two cents about how we can observe current events or life circumstances and extract a valuable leadership and/or management lesson. 

Back to the topic at hand. We are *all* excited to get back to “normal.” What normal means differs from person to person, though, and upon reflection, my perception of normal may have evolved over the past two years. I think we can all agree that normalcy includes a decreased need for masking and an increase in social activities. Normal might even mean some time in an office space, on mass transit, less shopping online, and dining out. 

And while we dabble in the removal of social distancing and masking and aim to enjoy our lives again, we are met with an onslaught of disengagement, burnout, disregard (for fellow humans), and dwindling customer service. I know that if I easily know five people who are experiencing or who have experienced these feelings/encounters, I have no doubt that you have a list handy, too. In fact, you might be experiencing feelings of shoddy customer service or utter fatigue and burnout *right now.* What’s my point? Well, the pandemic may be ending, and things may be returning to normal, but there are lasting effects that we must become aware of and work to improve – NOW. 

Notably, the APA is incredibly concerned for the mental health of our youth – so much so that it has defined the deterioration of mental health in children as a crisis. And, as already alluded to adults aren’t all that with it either. From (the many) altercations on airlines to the hissy fits I see almost daily on the street, I fear we have forgotten how to co-exist. Turns out, there’s some truth to this assertion. 

The number one reason for people behaving in rude or uncivil ways is stress. And we all have undoubtedly experienced at least some stress throughout this pandemic. I need not go into the laundry list of just why people may have experienced stress of late, but it is worth reflecting upon how you, as an individual, feel you deal with stress. Are you more reactive? Less compassionate? Impatient? Quick to madden? Is it any wonder that conflict is stirring around us? I think not. 

What’s more, rudeness (a derivative of poor emotional regulation, caused by frequent and compounded stress), can be contagious. Say you get a delivery that was tossed around in the truck that it came to you on, and then it is used as a soccer ball in the street (you imagine). You now need to not only submit a claim with the company from which you purchased the item and hope for a replacement, but you must determine how to return the product in its botched packaging. Then, moments later, you are taking a call with a colleague who made a mistake on a project and you are noticeably short with them, striking an attack on their competency. You have passed on the angst you’ve just endured. According to Porath, people are three times less likely to help someone else if they feel they have been treated poorly. This means that we might go out of our way to be unkind, rather than kind, and that will consequently motivate the next person to pass on the snub. 

In the context of the work environment – whether onsite or at home – our actions definitionally affect others. This means that as a manager or as a colleague, we must be aware that our resiliency against rudeness has waned; we are at risk of infection! There is little chance for constructive feedback or conflict resolution in this state if we let the rude contagion win. The saying “kindness, pass it on” might need to be our new mantra, especially as we aim to get back to “normal.” A profound finding? Perhaps not, but I am taking note that in the days ahead I will put kindness at the forefront of my actions and communication. Try it with me. 

Until next time,

Brielle

First published on LinkedIn