Understanding and interpreting social cues are an essential piece of communication skills. In fact, understanding social cues can help foster deeper interpersonal relationships, can establish trust, and can even aid in landing a promotion.

By recognizing and utilizing social cues, individuals can navigate social situations with confidence by demonstrating social competence. Social cues are often nonverbal, which can include body language such as proxemics, eye contact, and gestures. Further, it’s important to also consider contextual cues and tone.

Take a moment to consider your social cues IQ:

Proxemics:

“The Close Talker,” one of the legendary episodes of Seinfeld, demonstrates proxemics perfectly. When someone continues to cut off or invade your space, it can feel suffocating. When people are hovering over you, or “pushing” you into the corner by moving their physical body toward yours, it is not a good feeling. It can feel intimidating, invasive, inconsiderate, or just plain idiotic. The problem is, that without feedback and self-reflection, proxemics will not improve. Take a moment to consider if people you speak with fidget often, or if you find yourself in a different location than when you started a discussion. If you’re unsure, think about the physical space between your body and someone else’s when you shake hands. This is an appropriate distance.

Eye Contact:

Eye contact affirms people. It demonstrates listening and provides nonverbal validation. If you are working remotely, be sure to consider what screen you are looking at, and how often. Further, if you are taking notes, make it known, so as to not alienate attendees on the call.

Contextual Cues:

Imagine you are invited to a company-wide meeting. The meeting is not marked as mandatory, but it’s apparent your colleagues are attending, and your manager urged your group to be present. At the last minute, you decline the meeting and say you have other priorities. In this context, how would that be seen? If your hunch is that it’s a less favorable call, you’d be right.

Tone:

A rapid pace and short breaths often indicate frustration or a need for urgency. A slow and steady tone demonstrates patience and time. Accusatory language often coincides with volume, and a lack of confidence often coincides with filler words and shakiness.

Do you think your social cue skills are honed but want some feedback? Great idea. Seek feedback from a peer and a manager for some balanced views.