Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash
Nearly every single person can relate to an experience of feeling intimidated. And what’s important to realize is that intimidation can quickly lead to negative self-talk, which can quickly lead to hesitation, second-guessing, and depleted confidence.
The best way to counter insecurities — or the fear of inferiority— is to practice mindfulness and actions to create confidence. Confidence can be increased and most notably, it can be increased in adulthood.
Research shows that women tend to be less confident and undervalue their competence, while men tend to overshoot their competence, which is directly linked to their high levels of self-confidence. The short and sweet psychological reasoning of it is this: girls observe the benefits received from people-pleasing and good behavior at a young age. They also see boys rough-housing and getting into trouble. This conditioning leads our girls to take fewer risks and consequently teaches them little about resilience in the process. The kicker? Resilience is a confidence builder. Conversely, boys get daily doses of resilience as they learn to accept criticism and consequence.
If you are a man you may think of the times you were reprimanded growing up. If you are a woman, you may relate to the narrative of ceasing “poor behavior” to keep your good grades, reputation, and likability intact. But what is seen to be important in childhood, such as being a well-behaved child, actually can set the stage for less success in adulthood. Research shows that confidence matters as much as competence to achieve promotions, raises, and even contentedness.
This means that as a people manager, we must encourage all within our teams to explore their confidence and guide the process. In order to create an inclusive climate, leading to better team cohesion, innovation, and productivity, discussing confidence is important.
You will likely find that based on the psychological undertones just briefly discussed here, women will benefit most from confidence creation, and men will learn their predispositions — demonstrating to all team members that there is room for personal growth and professional development. Consider sharing not only the science behind confidence (more can be read about the confidence gap by authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman) but provide the tools to your team to practice confidence builders.
As a starting point, ask team members what confidence means to them. More specifically, what does a “confident you” look like?
Second, ask team members what this confident person behaves like and what this person accomplishes.
Third, what does this person look like, and how does he or she present themself?
Envisioning what it is a person wants provides an opportunity for clarity. It also presents an opportunity to recognize areas for growth. In addition to this grounding visualization exercise, provide team members with resources — such as confidence tips and education. I provide weekly confidence hacks here on my company’s Instagram page.
Cheers to a more confident you — have a good week.
