Bullies are often associated with high school. Bullies will not exist in the later years of life, we told ourselves. Too bad we were all wrong. Bullies find a way to maintain their bully-like tendencies throughout life – regardless of social expectations. What’s more: their tactics have become honed! The bully’s behavior minimizes others, makes him or she feel better about themselves, and wreaks havoc upon anyone in their way. And yes, they are our colleagues.
Although I like to envision a dramatized version of bullies (you cannot beat Biff’s bully persona in the beloved Back to the Future series), the reality is that we are surrounded by bullies, some of whom hold reputable and influential positions. If there is no reasoning with a bully (trust me, emotional intelligence is not their strong suit), what is the next best thing?
As a manager of people, the most significant power you possess is the ability to influence. If you have any chance at changing a bully’s behavior, it starts with you. Set a team policy for ethical behavior in the workplace. It is plausible your place of work has an ethics policy. If bullying is covered, great. Use that verbiage. If it isn’t, I encourage you to speak with leadership to incorporate an anti-bullying policy and/or edit the behavioral code of conduct. Use this as a guide not only for yourself, but for your team. Regularly communicate the updated (or same) ethics code/code of conduct policy within your coterie. Being able to walk the walk is of utmost importance here.
OK, you have an updated policy, as well as a new schedule to convey expectations of behavior in accordance with the ethics policy/anti-bullying policy. Yet, nothing has changed…
Next step: Incorporate respectful and civil behavioral components/expectations into your performance management metrics for your team. This is a great way to hold your team accountable for their behaviors (and, quite frankly, should already be a part of evaluation metrics). We want to work with people we can trust and respect. The higher the trust, the higher the cohesion and productivity. If you make a change to the performance management metrics, make sure to communicate it out.
Following performance metric adjustments, ensure there is a process to report bullying in the organization. If there is no existing process, collaborate with human resources to implement a company-wide program. It is essential any bullied team member feel they can disclose their concerns without ramifications. [Note: It is not unusual for a bully to demand much of a manager’s time. Keep track of this. Are your other team members getting what they need from you?]
Now that organizational measures have been considered and/or implemented and expectations are clearly conveyed, it might be time for a corrective discussion. My recommendation for conflict resolution of this caliber is to practice a tactic called Principled Negotiation. It consists of (1) Separating the people from the problem (2) Focusing on interests, not positions, (3) Inventing options for mutual gains, and (4) Insisting on using objective criteria. Ideally, bullying will be seen as an organizational issue, not an individual / team level issue. If the organization has exhausted all options, including those above, experienced conflict resolution tactics should be deployed.
Slowly, but surely, there will be no space for bullies in our places of work.