There’s No Reasoning with a Bully.

Bullies are often associated with high school. Bullies will not exist in the later years of life, we told ourselves. Too bad we were all wrong. Bullies find a way to maintain their bully-like tendencies throughout life – regardless of social expectations. What’s more: their tactics have become honed! The bully’s behavior minimizes others, makes him or she feel better about themselves, and wreaks havoc upon anyone in their way. And yes, they are our colleagues. 

Although I like to envision a dramatized version of bullies (you cannot beat Biff’s bully persona in the beloved Back to the Future series), the reality is that we are surrounded by bullies, some of whom hold reputable and influential positions. If there is no reasoning with a bully (trust me, emotional intelligence is not their strong suit), what is the next best thing?

As a manager of people, the most significant power you possess is the ability to influence. If you have any chance at changing a bully’s behavior, it starts with you. Set a team policy for ethical behavior in the workplace. It is plausible your place of work has an ethics policy. If bullying is covered, great. Use that verbiage. If it isn’t, I encourage you to speak with leadership to incorporate an anti-bullying policy and/or edit the behavioral code of conduct. Use this as a guide not only for yourself, but for your team. Regularly communicate the updated (or same) ethics code/code of conduct policy within your coterie. Being able to walk the walk is of utmost importance here.

OK, you have an updated policy, as well as a new schedule to convey expectations of behavior in accordance with the ethics policy/anti-bullying policy. Yet, nothing has changed…

Next step: Incorporate respectful and civil behavioral components/expectations into your performance management metrics for your team. This is a great way to hold your team accountable for their behaviors (and, quite frankly, should already be a part of evaluation metrics). We want to work with people we can trust and respect. The higher the trust, the higher the cohesion and productivity. If you make a change to the performance management metrics, make sure to communicate it out.

Following performance metric adjustments, ensure there is a process to report bullying in the organization. If there is no existing process, collaborate with human resources to implement a company-wide program. It is essential any bullied team member feel they can disclose their concerns without ramifications. [Note: It is not unusual for a bully to demand much of a manager’s time. Keep track of this. Are your other team members getting what they need from you?]

Now that organizational measures have been considered and/or implemented and expectations are clearly conveyed, it might be time for a corrective discussion. My recommendation for conflict resolution of this caliber is to practice a tactic called Principled Negotiation. It consists of (1) Separating the people from the problem (2) Focusing on interests, not positions, (3) Inventing options for mutual gains, and (4) Insisting on using objective criteria. Ideally, bullying will be seen as an organizational issue, not an individual / team level issue. If the organization has exhausted all options, including those above, experienced conflict resolution tactics should be deployed.

Slowly, but surely, there will be no space for bullies in our places of work.

Listening vs. Waiting to Talk

We have all been there. You can picture it. Whether you are the one unable to listen, or you are watching your colleague from across the room – awkwardly shifting with anticipation for their turn to talk – listening actively is harder than it looks.

Only 10% of people listen effectively, and actively. The rest of us are worried about what we are going to say, how we want to respond, or how we want to frame our advice. What’s more, if it is not our own reply that we are conjuring up as another person speaks, then it is the dinging of our phones – email, texts, and calls – or simply the noise in our heads that make sure we are distracted from listening. If you are honest, the odds of us being completely present when another person is speaking, are low.

Listening is less about the physical ability to hear, and more about comprehension, internalization, and recognition – even the pauses (some would say awkward silences) have meaning.

The good news? Active listening is a skill, and like any skill, it can be honed. If you are familiar with mindfulness or the notion of being in the present moment, you are already a step ahead. Through being present, you are more physically capable to listen.

Why should we care about listening? Well, a lot of reasons. First, if you are a manager, you need to actively listen to your team members. This not only increases empathy, it decreases conflict, and promotes trust. (What an efficient way to spark cohesion!) These benefits are unquestionably valuable among friends, family, and peers - of all ages - as well.

Exercise: Ask a colleague or loved one to practice with you (it is highly probable they need the help too!). Meet for tea or coffee, and ask your counterpart a simple question: how are they doing? This exercise should focus on asking open-ended questions. This is not about you offering advice or judging what is being said. It is about recognizing when your mind drifts. Are you thinking about the temperature of the coffee? The weather? Or perhaps you’re thinking about what may happen if your child doesn’t make the basketball team. Try to be aware of all of those thoughts. Rather than fight them, recognize them and come back to the present moment (listening to your counterpart) without judgement.

What this exercise will do:

• It will show you how much your mind wanders

• It will encourage you to be more mindful of your thoughts

• It will challenge you to realize your intentions of speaking e.g., rebuttals, advice, point-making.

This may seem slightly off topic for leadership advisement, but I assure you it is not! Instead, attentive and fully engaged listening is essential to establishing authentic relationships and cultivating team cohesion.   

Virtual Teams: Explained.

Virtual teams will soon simply be called “teams.” Yet, and unfortunately, the extent to which virtual teams are utilized in corporations has exceeded the research done on the topic. Virtual teams consist of an interconnected group – this interconnectivity comprises shared goals or expected outputs from organizations. Virtual teams are dispersed throughout the nation, or world, and this trend is increasing as globalization continues to prosper. RW CultureWizard (2016) completed a survey consisting of 1372 business respondents from 80 countries; 85 percent of the participants worked on virtual teams. 85 percent! The extent to which virtual teams are prevalent points to the necessity of continued support for managers, and employees alike, under this virtual framework.

I recently spoke with a peer who was promoted several months ago. She shared with me her new manager is unaccustomed to managing from afar. In fact, the notion of managing a virtual team member is as foreign to him as the German language is to me. This points to the reality that managers who are being asked to manage virtually need just as much advice and/or coaching as the team members who are virtual. 

There are a lot of benefits of virtual teams. Geographic variation can contribute to less time in transit for client travel (think of territory allocation), diversity in teams increases creativity and problem solving (interested in the literature?), and productivity can increase due to time zone variation.

But, I would be remiss if I did not mention the disadvantages. Team engagement can suffer as a result of less frequent communication, disjointed (non-media-rich) narratives, damaged trust due to miscommunication, confused staff responsibility, minimal empowerment, and managerial-staff conflict.

At the root of it all? Communication. If you have been managing a virtual team, take a moment to reflect with me. What cadences do you have in place to communicate with each team member? What is the frequency? What process ensures communication among team members (needed for camaraderie and collaboration)? Now, what is the intent of those meetings? Is each and every conversation goal-oriented and work-specific? Or do you work diligently to incorporate the development of “human stuff” -- AKA interpersonal relations?

Each and every team is different; thus, I cannot say the issues you face are going to have a similar resolution as another group. What I can say is this: even researchers are busy getting to the theoretical undertones of what makes a virtual team effective. Do not despair, there are plenty of tried and true ways to work in a virtual environment. A couple of my favorites include (a) leveraging technology wisely, (b) putting your people first, and (c) understanding the necessity of unifying your team.

The best approach to understand what challenges you face require gathering information – this is true for both virtual and non-virtual teams. Knowing where you are – comprehending challenges, opportunities, and perception — will give you significant insight into blind spots, areas for improvement, and empathy for the challenges virtual team members face.

An area research has identified to be relevant for virtual management is the behavioral profiles of those who lead virtual teams. Since these managers must counteract the absence of a face-to-face dynamic, his or her ability to be even more engaged (and engaging) becomes front and center. The ability to facilitate member engagement, appreciate cultural diversity, and build trust, are paramount. Remember, media-richness is not on your side. Utilize tools that are the next best thing e.g., video chat and group discussion forums. If this is all too new, let’s come up with a plan. If you are facing some challenges within your virtual team, we can tackle one at a time to verify team alignment and maintain accomplishment.  

Hacks to Increasing Team Effectiveness

Effective teams lead to greater productivity, better use of resources, sophisticated problem solving, and an increase in innovative ideas or creativity. Then, why is it, we struggle to craft these invaluable cohorts?

As you prepare for the New Year, consider the following to help you reset the stage for managing your team.  

Clarity in Goals.
I know, I keep coming back to this (but it’s essential!). Removing ambiguity and providing clarity is very powerful in management. To that point, team goals need to be just as clear. Why? First off, team members can tell whether performance objectives have been attained. Second, without clear team goals, several obstacles are likely to get in the way. These include (a) team members setting their own goals that may be in opposition to what the team needs to accomplish (b) personal agendas may get in the way of identified targets, (c) power issues can and will contribute to personality conflict and dilute time allocation.

Vague tasks leave team members questioning the details and unsure about the overall necessity of what they’re aiming to achieve. A compelling and shared purpose not only motivates team members, but it also requires full engagement of their talents.   

Competency.
It seems logical, but team members need to be made up of the right types of people. Technical aptitude cannot be replaced – each person needs to possess the right level of competency to achieve team goals. Further, members also need interpersonal and teamwork skills. A common mistake (and this goes back to clarity): an assumption is made that people have the technical and/or interpersonal skills to be effective in their assigned roles. Team leads need to not only set expectations about technical and interpersonal capability but must identify the normalcy and helpfulness in continued education. If a team member is underperforming in one of the areas above, he or she needs further direction. Make sure they understand why they need it and come up with a plan to help them get it.

Collaborative Climate.
A collaborative climate may seem like a no-brainer. If you want a capable team – you need to have collaboration. What allows a collaborative environment?

1. A space that allows for healthy but respectful debate

2. Active listening skills

3. Empathy

4. Honesty

Each team member has their uniqueness; they bring with them different perspectives, opinions, and expertise. It’s about channeling differences to ensure discussion. Team members must take ownership of wanting a collaborative environment. If collaboration is failing, it’s a two-prong failure. 1) The team needs to coordinate their individual contributions and look to items 1-4 to achieve improvement. 2) Effective team leaders can facilitate a collaborate climate by managing their own need to control, ensuring a safe space for communication, and guiding the team into this problem-solving framework by also integrating items 1-4 into group dynamics and expectations. [This framework is correlated to the need for clear norms of conduct: how are people expected to behave?]

Support and Recognition.
As discussed, a clear goal is needed to ensure accomplishment. But once accomplishment is reached, what then? New goals can be crafted and implemented, but too, recognition of success needs to take place. Take note: if the team is truly functioning as a team – team performance and accomplishment should be recognized and rewarded, not individual performance; this can cause a divide among team members.

Additionally, a widespread mistake is to assign challenging feats, but not provide adequate support to accomplish assignments. Researchers Hyatt and Ruddy found that having systems in place to support teams e.g., clear direction, data, resources, rewards, and training, enables teams to be more effective and achieve goals.

Principled Leadership.
It is up to the team leader to implement programming that supports the collective. If you’re a team leader and you are realizing the number of goals set for your team may be overwhelming, look to see what can be removed, clarified, and reintroduced to the team. Further, if you are concerned about competency, look to your leadership to ensure resources will be provided to help your cohort succeed. Ultimately, it’s up to you to create an environment that is collaborative. If you’re struggling on how to implement changes, approach the people you report to, or are generally unsure about some challenges, let’s schedule a time to speak.   

As we enter the holidays, I am going to take a several-week break. I look forward to sharing leadership and management recommendations as well as proven tactics for improvement when I return in 2019!