Does Empathy Belong in the Workplace?

You better believed it.

Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Research has found that empathy can help increase trust and, in my opinion, trust is the lifeline for teams. What’s more, according to empathy experts, we can harness empathy to increase productivity.

We have all experienced the frustration of a team member not completing his or her assigned duties. In these cases, it is typical to assume a team member does not care about the work or is disengaged. However, what if that is not the reason? What if there is a family or life scenario that is causing deadlines to be missed?

The natural outcome of a missed deadline is harsher scrutiny on the employee. A varied approach suggests that there is value in seeking to understand what is occurring in a person’s personal life. It is possible a less favorable situation is being faced, and that provides an opportunity for other team members to assume additional responsibility (within reason and for an agreed upon time). The goal here is not to make excuses for anyone; it is to encourage the team to function as a team – allowing the team member who is undergoing difficulty an opportunity to be transparent. [Have you ever noticed how quick we are to point fingers? Rewriting this narrative may be challenging, but it yields powerful outcomes.]

To this point, a manager has the opportunity to commence an empathetic cycle by putting the feedback loop in motion. The first step is to inquire. It is common employees who are underperforming know that they are and are fearful of discussing the topic. Posing the question, “How are things going for you?” may present a moment of candor – opening the lines of communication, rather than assuming a person is actively trying to underperform.

Human behavior can be very predictable; when someone pushes, the natural response is to push back. But, when a manager demonstrates care for employees – dedicating time and energy to understand perspectives or challenging scenarios – it deescalates situations that could otherwise have been time exhaustive. Employees pick up on the ability for a manager to extend care and empathy, which, in return, generates higher functioning teams, saves on lost productivity, and enables incomparable trust.

Is there a need for increased empathy in your place of work? Contact me.

First published on LinkedIn.

Help! My Employee is Entitled.

Did you know there is very little scientific data about the differences among generations? The studies that have been conducted indicate generational nuances are more about life-stage as opposed to directly correlated attributes of a generation, e.g., entitlement. [I bet you can guess which generation is labeled as entitled, even though I did not indicate!] What this says is two-fold. First, the discourse has led to assumed normality’s, when in actuality certain adjectives are not indicative of generations. Yet, we associate baby-boomers with being sheltered by their not-so-sheltered Traditionalist parents, and we associate Gen Xers with being stealth-bomb parents (the marginalized generation who didn’t get enough attention). Second, it says we are looking at the problem at a micro, not macro, scale.

Here’s the deal: a team member can be 20, 30, or 40 and still behave like an entitled frog prince (or princess). I recently read a great article about the effects of entitlement on human resource management and the managerial challenges that entitlement poses. The entitlement plague is not a generation; it is a mindset that is fueled by culture. A culture dedicated to social media, television, and the internet. This “me first” society is the conditioning tool, and we are Pavlov’s dog. We are speaking before we listen, pushing before we yield, and doing all of this while looking in the mirror (not for introspection purposes, but because we are vain). If that does not sound like the perfect mix to produce narcissists, I do not know what does.

OK, but you still have that entitled employee. There are steps to take as a manager to help them evolve, and ensure your sanity in the process (and, if you follow my blog, you may already have the answers).

So much of what I talk about is rooted in expectations: both organizationally and on the team level. A plan of attack to address entitlement includes:

• Refer to company policies: values, mission, ethics code, and code of conduct. Know these well and make sure your team does, too. 

• Review and reiterate team expectations. Rather than “produce results,” quantify those results. Increase your client base by 10% in the next four months. Precise clarity reduces employees' ability to exaggerate (or inflate results, which is sometimes seen by entitled individuals).

• Appreciate your team, but also get creative. Change bringing in bagels every week on Thursdays to bringing the team to get coffee, or having an offsite meeting. Regularity can breed entitlement. “Where are my bagels??”

• Counter entitlement with its antidote: gratitude. [Need help incorporating gratitude into your team? I have tips!]

• Do not wait until it is too late to address concerns. Speak with the instigator of entitlement sooner rather than later. Identify what behaviors are problematic and why.

Initially published on LinkedIn through my Articles

Fear: A Silent Instigator

Of all complex situations in the workplace, fear is not often a term discussed or even considered when it comes to addressing and managing disagreements or tense situations.

I recently commenced reading a book I remind myself to open each year: Wired for Joy. The author, Laurel Mellin, helps readers understand more about how the brain functions. In brief (you should purchase the book!), there are joy circuits and stress circuits. Stress circuits are all around us – at home, in the office, on the road. Joy circuits, however, are harder to come by. And, like anything, practice makes perfect. When stress circuits are used regularly, they are more easily triggered.

OK, so what does this have to do with fear?

Picture yourself at work. You have a colleague who just wrote you a nastygram, insinuating your knowledge is inferior to their own. First, take virtual communication into consideration. This person may simply have a poor tone in email (I encourage you to pick up the phone *once you are calm* if you sense miscommunication or passive aggressive behavior). But beyond the tone or the insinuation, are your feelings. Your blood pressure rose, and your brain went straight to the stressed state.

What I described is as typical as getting water when we are thirsty. It’s not that we want to feel poor, but our brains tell us something is wrong. While I won’t try to explain the technicalities of neurotransmitters – Laurel can do that – I did consider a tactic that can help reground you and help you realize what is actually bothersome. What I realized is a lot of stress, and anger, stems from fear.

Next time you feel angry, give this method a shot:

• Ask yourself who you are angry toward. List the person or people.

• Then, ask yourself the reason. Record the reason.

• Now, consider what it effects. Self-esteem? Security? Ambitions? Personal relations?

• Finally, what are the underlying fears?

Let’s take the above example. Pretend Mark sent you the email. Mark is the person you are angry toward. The reason you are angry is that he is acting as he knows more than you do. <Enter reflective mode here.> The email made you feel less intelligent, gave you a swirl of insecurity about your job, and made you question if you are good enough. Further, you are now angry at Mark. How dare he? ... But what are you afraid of? Perhaps you are fearful you may lose your job, or you fear the project you need to work on with Mark will be a catastrophe.

Consider your feelings, and this process, the next time your blood boils. It may have less to do with the person (albeit we all have these tedious experiences!) and more to do with your fears. Once you recognize those fears, you are empowered to respond with insight – maybe even vulnerability – and not hostility. This helps ease tension and supports cohesion rather than opposition.

/Article originally published on LinkedIn./

Virtual Teams: Explained.

Virtual teams will soon simply be called “teams.” Yet, and unfortunately, the extent to which virtual teams are utilized in corporations has exceeded the research done on the topic. Virtual teams consist of an interconnected group – this interconnectivity comprises shared goals or expected outputs from organizations. Virtual teams are dispersed throughout the nation, or world, and this trend is increasing as globalization continues to prosper. RW CultureWizard (2016) completed a survey consisting of 1372 business respondents from 80 countries; 85 percent of the participants worked on virtual teams. 85 percent! The extent to which virtual teams are prevalent points to the necessity of continued support for managers, and employees alike, under this virtual framework.

I recently spoke with a peer who was promoted several months ago. She shared with me her new manager is unaccustomed to managing from afar. In fact, the notion of managing a virtual team member is as foreign to him as the German language is to me. This points to the reality that managers who are being asked to manage virtually need just as much advice and/or coaching as the team members who are virtual. 

There are a lot of benefits of virtual teams. Geographic variation can contribute to less time in transit for client travel (think of territory allocation), diversity in teams increases creativity and problem solving (interested in the literature?), and productivity can increase due to time zone variation.

But, I would be remiss if I did not mention the disadvantages. Team engagement can suffer as a result of less frequent communication, disjointed (non-media-rich) narratives, damaged trust due to miscommunication, confused staff responsibility, minimal empowerment, and managerial-staff conflict.

At the root of it all? Communication. If you have been managing a virtual team, take a moment to reflect with me. What cadences do you have in place to communicate with each team member? What is the frequency? What process ensures communication among team members (needed for camaraderie and collaboration)? Now, what is the intent of those meetings? Is each and every conversation goal-oriented and work-specific? Or do you work diligently to incorporate the development of “human stuff” -- AKA interpersonal relations?

Each and every team is different; thus, I cannot say the issues you face are going to have a similar resolution as another group. What I can say is this: even researchers are busy getting to the theoretical undertones of what makes a virtual team effective. Do not despair, there are plenty of tried and true ways to work in a virtual environment. A couple of my favorites include (a) leveraging technology wisely, (b) putting your people first, and (c) understanding the necessity of unifying your team.

The best approach to understand what challenges you face require gathering information – this is true for both virtual and non-virtual teams. Knowing where you are – comprehending challenges, opportunities, and perception — will give you significant insight into blind spots, areas for improvement, and empathy for the challenges virtual team members face.

An area research has identified to be relevant for virtual management is the behavioral profiles of those who lead virtual teams. Since these managers must counteract the absence of a face-to-face dynamic, his or her ability to be even more engaged (and engaging) becomes front and center. The ability to facilitate member engagement, appreciate cultural diversity, and build trust, are paramount. Remember, media-richness is not on your side. Utilize tools that are the next best thing e.g., video chat and group discussion forums. If this is all too new, let’s come up with a plan. If you are facing some challenges within your virtual team, we can tackle one at a time to verify team alignment and maintain accomplishment.